We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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