The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
