I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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