Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
