Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
