she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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