hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's shark week go big or go home
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
