I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Text me some of your sweat
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
