Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
