You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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