we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
