i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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