Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
