Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize