ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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