I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
