So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
