so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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