i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
