i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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