Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize