We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
