The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
