i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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