I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
