hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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