I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
