THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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