You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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