he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
