Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
