All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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