its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
