i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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