Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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