She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
