Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
