My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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