I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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