I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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