Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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