weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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