I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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