if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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