i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
