hell yes lets make some ravioli
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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