$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
