these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
