I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
