Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
