Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She even gives head with a lisp.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
