Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
