I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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