sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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