What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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