Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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