Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize