I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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