well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
