She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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