we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
